Twisted

They were holding their hands tight, eyes shut, butterflies amusing their bellies, hearts pounding, blood streaming all over the body…

The kiss was finally over.

Do you love me?

I love you more than I love my mother, more than I love my Sister, even more than my Wife!

(Smiling) I know, just wanted to hear it from you sweetie.

After the romantic 5 minutes the 2 men started walking towards the car. They had to cross the road. Man 1 ran to the middle following him was Man 2, he was almost near the pavement which was when he was hit by a truck. It ran over his abdomen squeezing out the bowel.

The truck driver did not stop. Man 2’s head came fluttering from the sky and Man 1 caught it. The mouth was wide open, the lower jaw was displaced to the left side, nose crushed in and the right ear was dangling. He was able to see the brain oozing out through the fissure on the head.

He threw it away and drove back home with a big relief.

Honey… I’m home!

Daddy!! Daddy!! did you get me what I asked for?

Err..I’m so sorry son, I totally didn’t forget!!! Here it is!

Wow… you are the greatest, thanks!

Ha ha ha…wheres mom son?

Mom is sleeping with the man who came to sell vacuum cleaners

Hmmm!?

Oh my dear Son, mom is not sleeping, she is dead.

Next to her was the body of the man who came to sell vacuum cleaners.

Daddy, what happened to mom? I was watching them playing for sometime, then this guy was clutching her throat, and I pricked him on to his neck with the meat knife like 25 times, he was still squeezing her neck and both of them went to sleep after that!

You are the greatest, Son!

Thanks Daddy. The same thing happened even last time when the Car guy came to our house, but Mom did no go to sleep that time

That was different Son. You have done a wonderful job. We should celebrate!

Ohh hoo…what are we gonna do Daddy?

Lets get something to drink

Ok Daddy, I’ll have Scotch, on the Rocks…I’ll have in my favorite dino-mug.

ho ho ho…just like your uncle!

No Daddy, like your aunt who slept with our maid, but I did not see them since last year when grand pa shot them!

He is a bad man, he wanted all of us to go to jail, so I put him to sleep, he wont bother us now!

Dad, will you get me a new mom?

Oh Sure son, I’ll get a new mom for Christmas ok?

Cool… you are wonderful Dad! I also need a gun, I’m bored of using the knife all the time!

You got it. Here comes your sis, lets give her some Scotch too.

Hey that is my teletubby!

No its mine

Gimme that you winey bitch, I’m gonna cut you fingers for stealing my teletubby

No, you gotta catch me for that… weeee

Ah ha Gotchya!

Now your fingers, let me actually take your eye balls out so that you cant see my stuff

Noo nooo…

Yess.. Yess… Hahahaha

There… got it!

Eeeww… gggross… its so gooey… feels like my candy when I squeeze it…

mm… tastes like shit! Yuck!

Give that to me you idiot, mom will put it back for me.

No way, mom is gone, she is dead…she will never come back… haa haa haa

Dad is gonna get us…no…just for me… a new mom for Christmas

I’m gonna eat your eye now! I’m gonna eat it.. I’m gonns eat it….

Oops, I dropped in the bowl…oops I accidentally flushed it

You little swine, lemme pay you back. I’m gonna cut your tiny penis and feed my fishes.

Ha Ha… no way, because my friend from my class already cut it. She has it in her freezer. I showed it to her, she liked it so much that she cried for 4 days, and then I just asked her to take it. Since it started to stink after 2 days, her mom asked her to put it in the freezer, so it’s cool now

Oh yeah? you will let pass something from your body when you wake up tomorrow.

Do what you can… hog!

He woke up to see that his mouth was stitched and his finger was glued into his arsehole. He was wondering what could be missing. He turned and looked at the floor to see one of his ear in his cat’s mouth, it was almost done chewing it when he squeezed its throat to make it spit his ear. He finally took out the perforated ear, licked it and stuck it back.

He went to his sister and made funny faces showing his ear and was so pompous that she couldn’t make him loose it.

His dad suddenly flew into the kitchen, cut both the kid’s heads, spread some extra virgin olive oil, some schezuan seasoning, some salt, fresh ground pepper and put them in the oven and kept it at 350 degrees. He had some friends coming over to his apt for a small party for him sucking his boss’s pancreas using a straw!

Room 212, Holy Cross Medical Center. The boss woke up from a dismaying sleep. He felt anxious and a bit agitated. His face was covered with tiny drops of sweat.

He met with an accident 11 years ago. He was injured during a 100 meter bungee jumping; was in coma for 4 years and had lost partial senses after that. Was under treatment for 7 years and that was the day he will be sent home, completing the treatment.